The Difference Between Making Amends and Making Apologies

Perhaps it is something you said or did while they were ill. Now, whether it is an apology, a want for forgiveness, or an amends, that person isn’t here and it makes it hard to imagine any of those things are possible. An apology is expressing regret or saying sorry for causing harm to someone. Amends often include apologies, but they go beyond words.

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Our mission is to help everyone find the best path to recovery through the most comprehensive, helpful network of treatment providers worldwide. Negative self-labeling can hinder making amends by reinforcing feelings of unworthiness or shame. It’s important to challenge these thoughts and recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Focusing on the power of making amends can help shift this mindset towards a https://ecosoberhouse.com/ more constructive view of recovery.

• Apologizing is difficult for many people, and taking responsibility for your actions can be painful as it may remind you of the harm you have caused.
• They guide our mission as accomplished individuals dedicated to improving the landscape of addiction recovery and mental wellness.
• Living amends can help you rid yourself of the pain of guilt and the need to constantly say “I’m sorry” to the people you’ve wronged in your life.

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I also have a new profession in the sobriety field that feels like a calling. I can now pay it forward just like many did for me and would living amends like to sponsor/scholarship someone. I would like to thank Living Amends for the chance they gave me with the scholarship to sober living.

To understand what living amends are is to understand the concept behind amends in a 12 step program.

• I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
• In column 4, you will find the list of people to whom you owe amends.
• I’d appreciate if the program would be able to pay 50% of my rent for the next month, as I am still looking for employment and will now be caring for my four year old daughter half the time.
• And those words ring hollow when we repeatedly break our promises.

We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally. So be sure to talk with your sponsor and/or support group about your plan in the event that you need support. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I Alcoholics Anonymous used to behave. I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep. It ranged from promising to fix something around the house to going to a family gathering. The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing.

How Making Amends Helps You

Unlike direct or indirect amends, which might be one-time actions, living amends involve actively demonstrating changed behavior over time to show accountability for past actions. This can include improving relationships through positive interaction, such as spending more time with loved ones. Step 9 centers on forgiveness and restoration, confronting past actions directly rather than avoiding them. This step emphasizes making direct amends wherever possible, acknowledging harm caused and taking actions to rectify mistakes. Making amends is vital for the recovery journey as it helps us recognize the harm we have caused and take responsibility for our actions.

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Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. Take responsibility through admitting the hurt and pain that was caused by your addiction. At times, this requires being specific in the actions done. An alcoholic in recovery first creates the list of individuals they have harmed during step eight and then divides the list into four categories.

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For example, one might consider making indirect amends when the harmed person is deceased or contact would cause further harm. When held in the bonds of an addiction, it’s not uncommon for many relationships to feel strain, or to fall apart together. Making amends with somebody is a crucial part of your personal growth and of their healing process. Only make amends when you truly understand the situation and when you feel a sincere call for atonement. For, it is with this momentous step that you alone are able to bring peace and closure to shattered relationships.